Today JD turned 18. He is now a man. I took him out to eat for the last time as his mommy. Then we did some shopping, and now we are home. Did I mention I actually let him drive the Warthog?

this morning he went with his dad and took his drivers test and passed.. he is now a licensed driver, and dad bought him a year of insurance for his present. Cool present.

I havent been on much. Just not feeling well, distracted, not sleeping, overwhelmed, uptight about everything. Anxious. I need a break.

Tomorrow we go to Papas and he is making dinner. After that, I am officially on the diet of a lifetime. 25lbs quickly. No red meat, fat or crap. i have a Wii fit, and a weightloss coach. I am seriously not buying another thing until I loose this weight.  Im going to talk to my Dr about new meds, and order our medications through the mail vs in stores to save us a ton of fucking money. Other than that.. well, Im tired, and its bed time for me, and I wanted a new couch and I still dont have it. That makes me sad. I got a new chair, but its not couch. Cant curl up with the kids in a chair.

Emaly cut her bangs today.. bad. She got grounded and sent to bed. She knows Im mad at her, I refused to talk to her. I am so livid. i would have gotten her a hair cut, but for fucks sake, why did she fuck with her hair???

Current Mood: Frustrated

So.. Another birthday for Donald, missing him as normal. I did things, went shopping, and did something I never do.

I went to church for midnight mass with the FIL and Doug and the kidlets.  Then came home, put the kids to bed, put presents under the tree, JD dressed up as Santa so Doug could be here with the kids.. and JD was incredible playing santa. He even HO HO HO’d in the front yard. We did not do reindeer dust but put out Salt instead, telling the kids with this much ice the reindeer would get hurt.

Noahs ok, healing. FIL is not ok, has an IV pump with meds and is just well.. I bandaged him up well.

Today, after I wake up we will have breakfast like normal, pancakes in the special pans. Then Open presents, then I make dinner.. Ham, turkey and things.. and then have desserrt while everyone sits around and I destress.

Im broken this year, emotionally. I mean, honestly there is no more left to offer anyone because I am tired. I am emotionally just bent.

Merry Christmas to all.. 2008

We moved the room around. We moved the bed. Its suppose to help, instead I woke up feeling as if life had rolled me off a cliff to land on a pile of rubble for eternity. Im > . < close to putting on a pain patch. I took pills earlier and it got me out of bed, but Im already to climb back in and hope that the GODS see it fit to rain down on us and show me some mercy.

Doug and I have reservations for dinner as he got a bonus. After a week with my brother, and weeks with the kids, he needs time with just me, although I feel as if I am not all here so kinda half empty.  But hey, kids are cleaning up so thats a wonderful thing.

I need to find a purse hook.. for all my new loves.. Vera Bradley is a curse.. addiction. One I can not simply afford.

Off to find peace and pills.. so I can somewhat be there tonight. I guess.

So my tower is over heating. It actually SHUT ITSELF down more than once in a year… and that was once in a day. I mean it was really over heating and causing me to loose data and sleep.

So my computer stayed shut down for the morning. There is a 1st for everything.  We did our errands, I hit PT, and then ran out to Frys and bought a larger heat sync for my computer. While its dropped the temp down to 111, its still high and pointing that I am in need of a new case, and there is nothing else I can do about it. My SATA drive is not working out this way, and well, thats my OS so I dont know.  I just know it did it again with the new heat sync in and it shouldnt. We added an outside fan but things are still bad

Still waiting to hear on the breaks for the van. I dont know the total damage, and that bothers me. I need the van back so I can have the truck. I hate being stuck. I also just need life to get a tad better.

BlinkieBlast is half down at the moment while I work on zipping things up, making them neater, renaming them and things.  I need to get it in my order, not any former site partners, so thats where it goes. And who knows, I might like it when its done. LOL Ya right, html from hell.

So tonight when JD gets home its case hunting, and then we see if we can make it work. I worry, too much. I always do. I need my desktop. It puts my new laptops to shame. 2 yrs old now and kicks tush on the field of dreams baby. I love my desktop and I am NOT getting a new computer again when we can move this to a new case and call it a damn day!

So thats the plan.