We moved the room around. We moved the bed. Its suppose to help, instead I woke up feeling as if life had rolled me off a cliff to land on a pile of rubble for eternity. Im > . < close to putting on a pain patch. I took pills earlier and it got me out of bed, but Im already to climb back in and hope that the GODS see it fit to rain down on us and show me some mercy.

Doug and I have reservations for dinner as he got a bonus. After a week with my brother, and weeks with the kids, he needs time with just me, although I feel as if I am not all here so kinda half empty.  But hey, kids are cleaning up so thats a wonderful thing.

I need to find a purse hook.. for all my new loves.. Vera Bradley is a curse.. addiction. One I can not simply afford.

Off to find peace and pills.. so I can somewhat be there tonight. I guess.

Nates apt is at 1, we got here at 12. Its now 1230 and life is going well. Hes patient with Spongebob on my Zune, which I am glad i kept with me. LOL  This is his eval, and I did choose to come here, and I think we might see more of this place in the future. Seems like its the place to be to get the best care, so we will talk and discuss. Neurology seems to be the next step, I just need to make an apt.

Dougs work day is going not as planned. Seems he has a virus and can not back up his laptop. He also can not back up his blackberry which they are replacing today since he can not charge his. I am great full for them for changing the damn thing out, I was growing tired.

I wont be attempting any work, honestly I am too tired and time is running out. I might just watch some Army Wives since I have season 1 on here, along with the first 3 seasons of CSI New York and all 7 seasons of Boy meets World for JD. I didnt bring my charger, so that sucks, but we only have half an hour.

Off to play mommy for a lil while. LOL

My head hurts. Its Monday. I would like to take back my Sunday please. I want one more day in peace and quiet. When Doug took the week off we did not know my brother was going to be in town. That was sprung upon us days before he got here. He stayed with my mother, 4 blocks away and walked over or we picked him up when desired. It wasnt a bad stay, it just wasnt what the vacation was planned for.

My head hurts. Horribly.  Kids are good. Nate has a hellish apt downtown today at the rehab institute. I guess Im more pissed I have to pay 11$ for parking so the school can get a device they need. What rubbish. All of it. Im more worried about his health and mental issues vs a device the school can use. But heck, thats just me.

My health is just.. crazy health. My neck is giving me issues. My leg is giving me issues. I dont know, we will see what happens when I get back into PT tomorrow.

I just saw a video clip from the xhusband of Matthew and Joshua when they were 4 &2. They were cute, and small, and so adorable. They grew up. I will post it in a bit. Dougs moving it for me now.

I just want to know why kids dont come with pause buttons so we can remember longer. Or a mom should be able to choose to stop a child from growing so she can relish in them longer.  Photos are great, but videos capture moments, ones we dont want to loose or forget. I guess we need to capture more of those moments now because all my kids are growing up fast, too fast.

Today JD, who was 2 then, tore up his rotator cuff and shoulder. Hes on DH only with no throwing. PT starts tomorrow, baseball season is ending for him, so I can protect him for the real season. He might have grown up, but Im still mommy for a while. He still needs me.

I just want to cry and cuddle with my boy.. hold him back for a tad before he becomes a man. Is that wrong?

Doug used my machine to download a torrent and BAMN. I can not do crap on my newly fixed machine. I headed off to bed with intentions of killing him. We KNOW its his fault, the damn thing popped up and told us when he ran some 20 different programs to find it. I am still unable to get on the web other than a few simple pages. I can not access all of my data, and well.. I cant get onto forums at all. It sucks at the moment and Im ready to kill. So I can either take my butt upstairs and sulk while watching tv.. OR

I can kill him.

Ok, second wont work. Ill wait to kill him until AFTEr he figures out what he needs to continue to remove so I can have my computer back.  I am uploading a ton of photos to flickr. We had some incredible weather come through with spectacular clouds blowing to to the lake so I snapped a few. i could have went on all day, but after I got the one of the Pony shapped cloud I quit.  I will make a photo post in a few.. after they are all done. Only 182 new ones to add. LOL

Pony Cloud.. Head, feet, tail.. Its my mommys cloudpony!

Just because you hook a laptop up to an external monitor, dual screen it and make it LOOK like your desktop does not mean it IS a desktop. It wont function like a desktop.

SO STOP THINKING IT WILL.

Thats all. please resume to normal life. Oh.. 3 computers all to myself and not one has chosen to work like it should. Nice. NOT.

The last few days have been hellish around here.

Monday was Drs day. I didnt go in to the Chiropractors because Sunday left me tired. Cooking and cleaning and well it wasnt stressful, it was just lots of moving around.  I had my pain Dr apt and the Nazi didnt listen to a thing I said. She agreed with my PT that I am improving, but overall, shes just nuts. Work more, do more, harder harder, harder.  Now my 3 hours of PT are clearly 6 hours a week and more intense than ever. Im tired. I wish she understood what I was saying, but she clearly has no desire to listn to me.

Pain patches are making me break out. The medical ape is making me break out. I asked her to take me off them. Instead se kept me on them and lowered the dosage by half. I told her the dilaudid has NO effect. She didnt listen to me, she just kept me on it. What an idiot. I asked about my migraines, and nothing. I just want her to listen and HEAR ME. When I say I am using my stomach for every day life, hear it.

After that I had to take my Gram to her heart specialist. It was a good visit and she cleared up some misconceptions about her diet which will help her down the road with living a normal life.

Then it was home to work on BB while I remained frustrated as could be, I just hope for some quiet. My head hurts today, they are trimming trees. PT was long, and I hurt. I want ice packs and rest, and I hope when Doug gets home I get at least an hour of quiet rest.

I should go.. Loose power gain and I might just go ape on the neighbors who are killing my tree. I hate that, trimming off MY trees in MY back yard. I don’t care if they come over the line, you don’t OWN the air.  I just hate that they are hacking up my trees. I love my trees.  I fight with my mom over these trees. They are here for a reason, and hey bring life and air. WHY destroy them?  And when the cicadas come back in so many years, they wont have a tree to return to. No one has that right. My property, My tree. My rights. I just get angry over my trees. I love the shade. Im a tree hugger.